“27 You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Recently, a trusted source on the Word of God and the substitute Bible Study teacher at a local fellowship revealed to me that Emotional Affairs are nothing new.
Truth is, Emotional Affairs may very well be at the root of more divorces among Christian families than Sexual Affairs.
There are basically two types of cheating within a marriage.
There is physical cheating and then there is emotional cheating.
Cheaters are labeled as such because they take conscious and intentional steps to hide or lie about their actions.
There is a word for this type of behavior. It’s called sin.
“Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”
More often than not, infidelity is associated with physical or remote sexual encounters. But, emotional infidelity has proven to be damaging to Christian marriages far beyond measure.
Because Emotional Affairs are not admissible in court.
What does court have to do with infidelity?
The common thread between Sexual Affairs and Emotional Affairs is deception which in turn gives way to a lack of trust and other strong negative emotions in the marriage.
Unfortunately, without trust, many families do not survive either Sexual Affairs and/or Emotional Affairs.
God is clear is His Word when it comes to adultery within a Christian marriage. If a man lust after another woman, he is guilty of adultery in his heart, which is a sin against God and a transgression against his wife.
The same goes for women who abandon their husbands and their families, while seeking “joy” in secret with other men.
By robbing their husbands of the praise, encouragement and support extended to undeserving men, emotionally cheating wives become the cause of their own demise.
How do I know?
A friend of mine has been married for nearly 18 years.
A few years ago, Joe found out his wife was involved in a “remote friendship” with another man who lives an hour away from her home, in Clearwater, FL.
In over 12 years of marriage, she never mentioned his name to her husband a single time, and carefully managed her email applications so Joe would not find out about her platonic friendship with another man.
When Joe found out by accident about his wife’s secret friend, and called her frantically to address the issue, his wife told him there was nothing to worry about. “It’s nothing! Nothing to worry about.” she claimed.
At home later that day, Joe’s wife comforted him and reassured him the whole thing was just a silly misunderstanding, and she revealed the reason why she never told Joe about her personal, intimate relationship with a long time male friend was because she “knew” he would not understand and he “would not like it…”
So, while unsuspecting husbands get to enjoy their frigid, snoring and jostling wives in bed overnight, the wives’ boyfriends get cute emails telling them about lovely dreams chasing butterflies followed by hugs & kisses, and best wishes for a great day…
Husbands, on the flip side, are reminded how fat they are, how bad they smell, the lawn needs mowed, the kids need punishing, the mini van needs new brakes and the wife needs money to go shopping for hair color, push up bras, sexy lingerie and nail polish to wear at church…
The main problem with emotional infidelity is the exponential damage it causes families.
Because men are prideful creatures, husbands who are victims of emotional adultery seldom reach out for help.
So, most men internalize their pain and even though some are God fearing believers, most Christian men who feel betrayed by their wives simply strike back by giving into sin themselves.
Too often, the result is complete and utter destruction.
In America, infidelity (sexual and emotional) ruins over 47% of Christian families.
Are you yoked to a Jezebel who is having or had an Emotional Affair with another man?
What To Do If Your Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair?
First, bow down to God and pray.
Next, seek counsel within the body. No one should go through marital infidelity alone, and your cheating spouse should NOT double as your therapist.
Thirdly, work toward forgiveness.
While it’s impossible to forget what your wife did to you, it is very possible to forgive her and for both of you to grow in your faith together.
“14 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Remember, we all fall short of God’s glory.
Just as God forgives us husbands when we sin and fall short of His glory, we are called to forgive our wives.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
Or, in the event they are guilty of adultery, sexual or emotional, set them free so they can reap the harvest from the seeds they sowed in their failed marriage.
It is perfectly acceptable to God for men to divorce cheating wives, and this is why he lays out His commands for divorce in the Bible.
But, how much greater is a “forgiveness marriage” in the eyes of God?
Since 2003, I have been wronged by my wife more times than I can count. It breaks my heart to admit I have wronged her ten folds.
I’ll admit, I have not glorified God when it comes to loving my wife as Christ loves His church.
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”
God’s desire is for families to thrive together, for His glory.
It is my hope that you will seek out God’s plan for your marriage in prayer, and reach out to counsel for marital wisdom beyond your own as I have since my wedding back in 2003… 🙂
Were able to glean and grow from this message so God can be further glorified and His Kingdom magnified? If so, I would love to hear from you. Follow this link to get in touch… Let’s pray!
We thank you for your presence in our lives,
We praise you Lord for the wisdom found through Matthew, James & Paul,
And we ask you Lord to help us find joy in your perfect plan.
Allow us to praise and love each other through faith in you Jesus,
Shield us from evil through your Word, salvation and prayer,
Guide us to abide by the truth as we spread the good news to one and all,
And lead the lost to You.
God we pray that you will continue to bless us,
To bless our lives and fill us with hope.
We ask you Lord to guide our footsteps and lead us to the way everlasting,
Through faith in you Lord we seek salvation and our place with you in Heaven
According to your ways, your everlasting wisdom and strength.
May your will be done, here on Earth and through the vast Universe,
May our hearts be filled with your everlasting love and grace.
Praises to You God, Amen!
This message was written by Daniel St.Pierre