”10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 10:10-11
Marriage is hard.
Maybe not so for everyone, but to me, marriage was hard.
It was hard because I married a woman I barely knew, a woman I was not compatible with, on multiple levels.
We weren’t a match spiritually, intellectually, or even physically.
The fact is, I married a woman I had only known 3 months because I was desperate.
I was ready to do almost anything to live out my American dream, and Elizabeth seemed good enough to be my partner on my adventures.
Our first year together was pure Hell, but since I was playing long ball, and I had nothing to go back to in Canada, I handled her psychological abuse as best I could and put up with mediocrity so I could live out my dream…
And you guessed it, eventually my dream turned into a nightmare.
You see, like her mother, my ex-wife is manic depressive, or glass half-empty. She is consumed by darkness. To make matters worse, my ex is also like her father, who is a psychotic narcissist.
My ex-wife seemingly managed her potpourri of mental issues until Covid hit, and that’s when she snapped and lost her mind altogether.
First, she had an emotional affair with her pastor, who led her to mourn our marriage.
At the advice of her beloved pastor, and though we lived together and spent 24 hours a day under the same roof, and even slept in the same bed, Elizabeth did not say a word to me for over two months.
She prides herself in being a silent treatment champion, taking after her mother who would ignore her husband for weeks at a time. Needless to say, divorce is rampant in my ex wife’s family. Her mother and father were divorced, her sister also had failed marriages. And, it’s no surprise my ex wife Elizabeth was divorced as well. Before she turned 20 years old, she abandoned her US Marines after he came back from IRAQ…
I knew early on in our relationship, she was not a good person.
I’ve known all along she’s a fake, a liar and a master manipulator.
But I didn’t care how bad she was, I focused on how good she was getting at pretty much everything she set her mind to achieving.
Over time, Elizabeth became the most wonderful woman I had ever met. In spite of her sin, of her many flaws, I fell in love with my wife.
I loved her when she spewed verbal abuse in front of our daughters and even her own mother, undermining me each chance she got.
I’ve loved her while, and after she came at me physically and taunted me to strike her, getting in my face and violating my personal space as I begged her to back away. I recall her standing only a few inches away and shouting aloud in front of our children, “what are you going to do about it?”
I was shaking uncontrollably, but I still loved her. I loved her enough to take her abuse like a man, and held back my hand.
I ended up calling the police and filing a report. That was the last straw, and the end of our relationship.
The fact is, it takes time and effort to rebuilt a relationship.
When I first met Elizabeth, I fell in lust. That was nearly 20 years ago.
Over time, my physical attraction to my wife evolved into the most wonderful feeling I ever experienced. Love.
I am glad to admit, I love my ex-wife Elizabeth. Just as I should.
In spite of the venom, the hatred, the attacks, the abuse, to me she is the most wonderful woman God ever created (next to my mom, and our daughters :).
Is there a chance for my marriage?
Sadly, and it breaks my heart to say this, I have no hope for my marriage.
But that doesn’t change how I feel about the woman I married.
I am ashamed to admit, although I did keep my promise to love her for better or for worse, as I still do love her, I bailed when things got really bad.
When Elizabeth filed for divorce, and completely alienated me from my children, I didn’t just get a room nearby, I moved 300 miles away to South Florida.
I essentially gave up.
I gave up on something I didn’t believe in the begin with. I didn’t fight for my marriage because my wife revealed that she never loved me and, that she planned to leave me when our children were all grown up.
When I heard these words come out of my wife’s mouth, on top of the never ending psychological abuse, I was done.
The good news is, that’s my sad story and it doesn’t have to be yours!
It is my hope God has given you hope for your marriage, perhaps in the way of signs, scripture, fellowship or even through prayer.
It’s no secret that when both spouses are committed to making the marriage work, reconciliation is indeed possible.
The best thing you can do to reconcile your marriage, is seek accountability and advice in the way of counseling. Get help!
Seek advice within your fellowship, or through friends and family. Whatever you do, don’t go about reconciling your marriage alone…
Were you able to glean and grow from this message so God can be further glorified and His Kingdom magnified? If so, I would love to hear from you. Follow this link to get in touch… Let’s pray!
Father God;
We thank you for your presence in our lives,
We praise you Lord for the wisdom bestowed upon Paul,
And we ask you Lord to help us find joy in your perfect plan.
Allow us to praise and love each other through faith in you Jesus,
Shield us from evil through your Word, salvation and prayer,
Guide us to abide by the truth as we spread the good news to one and all,
And lead the lost to You.
God we pray that you will continue to bless us,
To bless our lives and fill us with hope.
We ask you Lord to guide our footsteps and lead us to the way everlasting,
Through faith in you Lord we seek salvation and our place with you in Heaven
According to your ways, your everlasting wisdom and strength.
May your will be done, here on Earth and through the vast Universe,
May our hearts be filled with your everlasting love and grace.
Praises to You God, Amen!
This message was written by Daniel St.Pierre
