Psalm 34:18
“18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit. ”
Today, I want to speak about a journey many of us may face in our lives: the path of overcoming the deep pain and challenges of divorce, especially when it involves circumstances beyond our control, such as mental illness in a spouse. This topic is deeply personal, and I know it resonates with some of you who may feel the weight of heartbreak, confusion, and loss.
Divorce, in any form, is a profound disruption. It shatters dreams, fractures plans, and leaves us questioning how to move forward. But I want to assure you, as children of God, there is hope. Even in the darkest valleys, God’s light can illuminate a path to healing, restoration, and renewed purpose.
Let us turn to Scripture for wisdom. In Psalm 34:18, we read, “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.” This verse reminds us that God does not abandon us in our suffering. He draws near to us, offering His comfort and strength.
Acknowledge the Pain
The first step in overcoming the challenges of divorce is to acknowledge the pain. It is okay to admit that you are hurt, angry, or overwhelmed. In Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, we are reminded, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
This is your season to grieve, and that’s okay. Suppressing your emotions or pretending everything is fine will only delay your healing. Instead, bring your pain to God. Pour out your heart in prayer, just as David did in the Psalms. God is big enough to handle your anger, your questions, and your tears.
Recognize the Role of Mental Illness
When divorce stems from challenges like mental illness, it adds layers of complexity to the pain. Mental illness is not a failure of character; it is a health condition that affects the mind and emotions. While we may feel anger or resentment toward the choices our spouse made, it is important to recognize that mental illness can distort reality and influence decisions in ways we cannot fully understand.
This recognition doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, but it can help us approach the situation with compassion rather than bitterness. As Ephesians 4:32 instructs us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness does not mean condoning hurtful actions or dismissing your own pain. Rather, it is a step toward releasing the hold that bitterness and anger can have over your heart.
Embrace God’s Grace and Forgiveness
One of the most difficult aspects of healing after a painful divorce is extending grace to yourself. You may replay decisions, wondering what you could have done differently. You may blame yourself for not being able to fix the situation. But hear me, beloved: you are not responsible for another person’s choices or struggles.
Isaiah 43:18-19 offers us this promise: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” God’s grace is sufficient to cover your past. He invites you to release the burden of guilt and shame and trust Him to bring beauty out of your brokenness.
Lean on Your Community
In times of deep sorrow, it is tempting to isolate ourselves. But God designed us to live in community. Galatians 6:2 reminds us, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Reach out to trusted friends, family, or members of your church. Share your struggles and allow them to support you. Don’t underestimate the power of fellowship and prayer. God often works through His people to bring encouragement and healing.
If you are able, consider seeking professional counseling. A trained therapist can help you process your emotions, navigate the complexities of your situation, and find healthy ways to move forward. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but of strength and wisdom.
Find Purpose in the Pain
One of the most profound truths about God’s work in our lives is that He can redeem even our most painful experiences. Romans 8:28 assures us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
While it may be hard to see it now, God can use your pain to shape you into someone stronger, more compassionate, and more attuned to His voice. Your story, with all its heartache and redemption, can be a testimony that inspires and encourages others who are walking a similar path.
Consider ways to serve others, even as you heal. Perhaps you can volunteer with organizations that support those struggling with mental illness, or you can mentor someone going through a difficult time. Serving others not only brings healing to your own heart but also reminds you that your life still holds great purpose.
Trust in God’s Plan
When we face the wreckage of our plans, it is easy to feel hopeless. But God’s plans for us are always good, even when we cannot understand them. Jeremiah 29:11 declares, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Cling to this promise, even when the way forward feels uncertain. Trust that God is working behind the scenes, weaving together a future filled with hope and new beginnings. He is the ultimate healer and restorer of broken hearts.
Practical Steps for Healing
As we close, I want to leave you with some practical steps to help you on this journey:
- Stay rooted in prayer and Scripture. Let God’s Word be your anchor and His presence your refuge.
- Take care of your physical and emotional health. Eat well, exercise, and rest. Give yourself permission to focus on your well-being.
- Set healthy boundaries. Protect your heart and mind from relationships or environments that drain you or bring negativity.
- Seek support. Whether through friends, a pastor, or a counselor, don’t walk this journey alone.
- Embrace gratitude. Even in the midst of pain, look for small blessings and thank God for them. Gratitude shifts our perspective and opens our hearts to joy.
- Take one day at a time. Healing is a process, and it’s okay to move forward slowly. Trust God with each step.
Beloved, I know the pain of divorce is real, and the challenges you face may feel overwhelming. But I want to remind you that you are not alone. God is with you, holding you in His hands and guiding you toward healing. Your story is not over. Your pain does not define you. And your future is filled with hope, because our God is a God of redemption.
Go forth, my friends, in the confidence that God is with you. He will see you through this storm and lead you into a season of joy and renewal.
To God be all the glory, now and forever.
Were you able to glean and grow from this message so God can be further glorified and His Kingdom magnified? If so, I would love to hear from you. Follow this link to get in touch… Let’s pray!
Heavenly Father,
We come before You with heavy hearts, laying down the pain, the confusion, and the loss we feel.
Lord, for those who have walked through the valley of divorce, we ask for Your healing touch.
Comfort their broken hearts, restore their hope, and renew their strength.
Help them to release bitterness and to embrace Your grace.
Surround them with Your love and the support of a caring community.
May they trust in Your plan and find purpose in their pain.
Lord, we thank You that You are a God who restores, who heals, and who brings beauty from ashes.
In Jesus’ name, we pray.
Amen.
This message was written by Daniel St.Pierre
