Proverbs 21:4 Haughty Looks

Proverbs 2:14 The Silent Treatment

“A haughty look, a proud heart, And the plowing of the wicked are sin.”

Proverbs 21:4

Arguably one of the most widely used passive aggressive techniques in relationships continues to be the infamous Silent Treatment.

Silent treatments are revengeful, passive ways a person uses to inflict pain on someone else, often as payback for a previous offense.

In relationships, Silent Treatments are forms of abuse that are easily spotted through long periods of silence, or by one partner being self-consumed (constantly on their phone, wearing earbuds or reading books).

When one partner wants to discuss or attempt to resolve a problem but the other withdraws, or even worse, haughty looks join the conversation, Satan wins and both partners lose.

In marriages, these periods of forced silence often translate into incredibly damaging, negative emotions including abandonment, anger and eventually, haughty looks and pride are known to cause separation and divorce.

It’s no secret that negative language (including body language) prevents couples from resolving their conflicts in a healthy way. What’s mysterious about the whole thing is that relatively intelligent people still use such a painful technique to hurt their own cause, and punish themselves even further.

The silent treatment robs partners of their basic need for social interaction and just like a sinful haughty look, it crushes romantic relationships.

One huge challenge involved with silent treatments and haughty looks is, it’s often a voluntary response, a form of revenge and a transgression against God. Haughty looks are not a character flaw and unfortunately for struggling couples, it’s a sin that’s not easy to overcome.

Like haughty looks, silent treatments are embedded in those who use them as revenge. Children who experience the silent treatment from parents or caregivers are very likely to fall prey to the enemy when they face a helpless situation.

Anyone who find themselves using haughty looks or the silent treatment in their relationship should examine their hearts and ask themselves why they take it upon themselves to do God’s work.

Revenge is God’s, not ours.

19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.”

Romans 12:19

With this in mind, why would anyone sin against God and take on revenge on their own?

Only a fool throws haughty looks at another child of God knowing it’s a transgression against our heavenly Father.

And, I say woe to those who steal from the poor, or punish those they claim to love via the silent treatment.

As I remove the plank from my eye, I call on those who leverage silence as a weapon to stand atop the highest mountain and kneel before God, then ask for His guidance as you seek fellowship within your relationships.

Silent Treatment Options

If you’re in a relationship and you are considering the silent treatment or haughty looks, go to God in prayer then seek counsel; His peace is waiting for you.

If revenge is on your heart, STOP and humble yourself before the Lord, place your trust in Him as God will never forsake you. If you find yourself trying to get even with your partner, reach out to a leader at church for guidance and support.

Before you go on the offensive and take up the fight on your own, you should know there is a price to pay for such battles and both you and your partner will suffer when you choose the silent treatment over kindness, grace and mercy.

In relationships, we often reap what we sow. If your seeds include love and joy, your harvest should indeed be glorifying to God…

If you struggle in your relationship or have questions about this study, I would love to hear from you. Follow this link to get in touch…

Let’s pray!

Father God;
We thank you for your presence in our lives,
We praise you Lord for the wisdom found through Proverbs,
And we ask you Lord to help us find joy in your perfect plan.

Allow us to praise and love each other through faith in you Jesus,
Shield us from evil through your Word, salvation and prayer,
Guide us to abide by the truth as we spread the good news to one and all,
And lead the lost to You.

God we pray that you will continue to bless us,
To bless our lives and fill us with hope.
We ask you Lord to guide our footsteps and lead us to the way everlasting,
Through faith in you Lord we seek salvation and our place with you in Heaven
According to your ways, your everlasting wisdom and strength.

May your will be done, here on Earth and through the vast Universe,
May our hearts be filled with your everlasting love and grace.
Praises to You God, Amen!

This message was written by Daniel St.Pierre

Posted in Bible Studies, Free Small Group Material and tagged , , , , .

Daniel St.Pierre

Daniel St.Pierre is a born again child of God. A Canadian immigrant to the United States, Daniel considers himself "blessed to be a blessing" as the ministry he leads continues to reach thousands of souls each month, on a global scale since 2003.