Who doesn’t like a good argument? Me that’s who! It seems God wired me to be opinionated but left out the ability to enjoy the sheer pleasure of argument. Personally, I just hate arguing…
This morning my wife Elizabeth and I disagreed on something and our discussion quickly morphed from pleasant to chaotic. As we are both blessed with somewhat confrontational character, an argument sprung up and turned ugly. We both lashed out back and forth with utmost disrespect for one another going against God’s commands.
The word tells us to “Be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart.” (Ephesians 5:18-19)
Looking back I realize the songs Elizabeth and I sang to each other would not have been pleasing to the Lord had He been in the room. Though we love each other tremendously, when it comes to arguing we continue to fail each other as husband and wife and need to take significant steps toward more godly disagreements.
One proven way to achieve this involves projecting Jesus onto our spouse and ourselves. Imagine arguing with God himself rather than husband or wife, not that arguing with God is a feasible idea but I’m sure you get the point. Emulating Jesus, following in His footsteps is not only wise, it is what we are called to do!
The bible reads “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:22-27)
As intelligent beings we all know treating each other with respect is an important step toward a peaceful relationship. Much like our relationship with Jesus our marriage deserves a better line of communication, one that involves more “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs”…
I’m not certain how you feel about arguing however I do know God’s mission for our lives is stalled when we give in to temptation and disobey Him. “We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle to the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Understanding we will keep disagreeing, Elizabeth and I decided to invite Jesus to take part in our discussions from now on. More than a divine mediator, Christ will act as a mirror as we try and get our point across. He will also inspire us to communicate more effectively, more respectfully. Jesus said “Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.” (Matthew 15:11)
Let us rejoice in the Lord and our relationships allowing God to shine through us. My advice is avoid arguments but if you must, argue with love.
We thank you for looking after us the way you do
And for providing more than we’ll ever need in this life
So we can rejoice with you in the next.
Lord we pray that you will continue to inspire us
To be better communicators in all our relationships,
And help us avoid discussions which do not honor you.
We ask that you give us wisdom and strength
To overcome challenges you lay before us,
Which you use as building blocks
So we can grow to be more like you.
God we love you and thank you for all that surrounds us!
This message was written by Daniel St.Pierre